Creating a SafePlace that is Your Own.
Have you ever found yourself daydreaming of being somewhere (real or imagined) and feeling a sense of groundedness, calm, or peace? Having a place that brings positive emotions such as these can help alleviate feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and stress. And honestly, sometimes, they can just be pleasant to visit.
Have you ever had one of those days that just doesn’t seem to end? Or a week that left you feeling emotionally exhausted? When we feel caught in a never-ending cycle of stress, anxiety, or overwhelm, relief can oftentimes feel unattainable. In part because we feel like we don’t have time to do something different, or we get so caught up in everything that creating time feels impossible.
But what if we used the resources that already exist within us? What if by using a moment in which we felt peace, calm, or maybe just neutrality, we could feasibly create a little mental headspace? We’ll explore the how-to here.
1. Remembering a moment of peace, calm, or neutrality.
I want you to think of a moment in which you felt joy, peace, calm, contentment, or even neutrality. This moment has to be solely about experiencing those emotions. If you are thinking of a moment that is paired with emotions that don’t feel positive, think of a different one. Some people think of moments that bring a feeling of melancholy and longing. Often, these feelings relate to the desire to be in this place and the overall positivity that was experienced in a place that may no longer physically exist.
If you can’t think of a specific memory or place, create one of your own. Maybe it’s a place that you imagined when reading a book or playing a game. Maybe it’s a place that you saw in a movie or in a show that brought feelings of warmth and positivity. Maybe it’s a place that is unique to you. Remember, it doesn’t have to be real, it just has to be specific.
You can also try this:
If you are having difficulties thinking of a specific place, you could also think of a recent moment where you experienced positive emotions. Maybe it was through an interaction with a friend, a moment of accomplishment, or a recent experience that you had on your own. Whether you choose an experience, a moment, or create a space of your own, the key thing is for that place to create positive (or even neutral) emotions in your body.
2. Be Specific.
Now that you have that place in mind, go into the specifics. Engage all of your senses and think about the different smells, the things you see (colors, textures, patterns), the things you can touch and how they felt, the different things you hear in your surroundings (even if what you hear is silence, notice what the silence feels like within you), and the different tastes that you may be experiencing. Sit with your senses in this moment and be as specific as you can.
It can be easy to rush through this part of the exercise, especially because we are not used to sitting in the moment. However, for this specific exercise, we want to be as detailed as we can so that you can imagine yourself being in this space.
Alternative option:
If you are thinking of a recent moment where you experienced positive emotions or neutrality, think of that moment in the same way. Engage all of your senses to connect with this experience.
3. Notice your emotions.
Now, as you continue to engage your senses, notice any positive emotions that are coming up for you in your body. Even if the emotion is slightly present, try to sit with it and notice it. Notice if it is one emotion or several, name the different emotions that you are experiencing (you can always use an emotion wheel if you are having difficulties labeling the emotion), and notice what it feels like to experience this emotion.
Remember, this is about experiencing emotions that feel positive to you. If you find yourself steering into a pending task or something else that is occupying mental head space, notice the thought without judgment and just let it be. Try to bring your focus back to noticing and acknowledging the positive emotions that are associated with this place.
Try an emotion wheel:
If you find yourself having difficulties labeling your emotions, do a quick search for an emotion wheel and try to label them as best as you can. may take practice. Be patient with yourself and remember, “good” is not an emotion.
4. Notice your body and breathe…
Now notice where in your body you are feeling these emotions. It may be helpful to place your hands where you are feeling this in your body; however not necessary. Remember, this experience is your own, and you can change and modify it as you need to. Sit with the emotions that are coming up for you and experience the feelings in your body.
Difficulties connecting with your body? Try this:
Connecting with our bodies can be difficult. If you are struggling here, that’s ok! If the best you can do is think of a place that feels neutral to you, then sit in this place for as long as you need/want to.
5. Sitting with it all.
Now that you have a place that is all your own, use this place as often as you want or need to. Remember, the purpose of this place is to experience positive emotions; it will be there for you whenever you need it. If, after creating this space, you find yourself wanting to make modifications or change the place, you can absolutely do so. This space is for you and only you; no one else has a say in what this place should look like. The key thing is that this place has to create positive or neutral emotions within you.
You did it!
Congratulations! You have created an experience for yourself that is now available to you as needed. Reminder, this particular exercise requires practice; the more you use it the more useful it will become.
