Little Things Often: Discovering What Fills Your Cup on an Ongoing Basis

Have you ever found yourself thinking “If I could only…” Thinking that if you were able to do that one thing, maybe, only maybe, you would feel happier?

I often hear a version of this story: “I feel overwhelmed and I don’t know where to start.” The feeling of overwhelm can feel so heavy and encompassing, leaving us to believe we don’t have any mental space left. And sometimes we just don’t. We feel rushed attempting to complete an endless list of tasks. Only to feel like we barely made a dent, or the list somehow got longer. And, at the end of the day, it all just feels exhausting. “Vegging out” feels tempting and seems to be the only way to have a moment to ourselves.

Life can be very overwhelming, and we can easily get caught up in the mundane tasks of our everyday life. Pausing to do something that we enjoy may feel like a luxury.

However, what if changing the way we engage helps us feel fulfilled, energized, or simply content?

The truth is, there will always be something that will consume our time. The list will always be there. But what if we chose to engage with the list in a way that felt a little bit more satisfying? If you magically had time to yourself, what would you do?

Choosing to hit pause.

I would invite you to reflect on the list of things that need to be done. I often suggest opening a Word document or getting out a piece of paper and actually writing it out. Write out all the things, even the ones that don’t seem very significant but still feel like they occupy headspace. If you’re struggling to do this, divide the list into 3 sections and think about what task needs to be completed at home, at work, and in your personal life.

My guess would be that it all feels like a priority; however, ask yourself, “How many of these, if not done, will have an immediate impact on my life?” For this purpose, I would like to define a priority as a task that, if not done, will have a consequence that will affect you in a significant way. Now choose your top two and make a plan on how to engage with them. Remember, we are not forgetting about the list in its entirety, we are just choosing a place to start.

Now, as a part of your plan, think of one thing that you really enjoy doing for yourself. Start with one small thing that you could do at home. If you’re struggling to identify the thing, reflect on a moment of calm, happiness, or gratification. Maybe it’s a moment where you were able to sit outside for 5 minutes and just breathe, maybe you read a couple of pages of a book you really enjoyed, maybe you did the laundry while listening to your favorite podcast. Maybe it’s doing something in a way that feels intentional and mindful to you. Now, make that your top priority of the day.

Regaining control.

We often feel overwhelmed because we feel out of control. And when we feel out of control, it is difficult to know where to start. By sitting down and making an actual list, not a mental list (very important), we are creating space outside of ourselves where all the tasks live. This strategy, as small as it may seem, can help in creating headspace. And now, you have space to reflect on the things that bring you small moments of calm, peace, and even joy.

Engaging in small things often can prevent us from crashing by creating a little bit of relief. We often dismiss the smaller things because they don’t seem satisfying enough. However, small moments of satisfaction add up the same way that daily, mundane tasks do. But instead of feeling overwhelmed, you may notice yourself feeling more willing to engage. The key difference here is that intentionally engaging in small moments of satisfaction on an ongoing basis may allow us to feel more content overall.

Small, mindful, and intentional dopamine moments. These slight changes in our routine make all the difference.

Reflect and practice.

My invitation to you is to write 1 thing that you can do on a daily basis that creates a little bit of satisfaction, joy, or calm, and make this one thing your priority for the next week. I recommend writing this on a Post-it so that you can later place it somewhere where you will see it often (bathroom mirror, for example). Remember, start small.