Celebrating Small Accomplishments: The Peanut Butter Cup Moment

Have you ever heard, “It’s the journey that counts,” and maybe shrug and think, “Nope, it’s the end goal!”? Here, we’ll talk about why it’s important to celebrate the journey and not just the milestone.

One morning, I was having coffee with a friend, and she was sharing her experience regarding a training. It was a specific training that required clinical practice, consultations, plus two three-day (all-day) weekends of training. We were discussing how difficult and emotionally draining the whole process was, and how a piece of paper with your name on it, essentially saying “You did it!”, did not even begin to capture or recognize the effort and small steps required to complete this goal. And, as we were talking about this, she mentioned that she had bought herself a peanut butter cup to celebrate the fact that she had completed the last requirement. I remember this moment of self-consciousness and me saying, “Screw it! This moment is worthy of all the peanut butter cups!”

I started reflecting on several conversations and noticed a similar pattern: we don’t sit with the small moments of accomplishment, we only focus on the end goal. Yet, it is the small moments that take us there. And this led me to recognize an even bigger problem: when we accomplish the “big goal,” we may have a small moment of recognition, but then, we rapidly move on to the next thing. Don’t even get me started on what happens if we don’t accomplish the big goal…

So, it made me think, wouldn’t we feel more accomplished if we celebrated the small milestones as well? A celebration that would in some way recognize the effort that the end goal has required? And that’s when the peanut butter cup became significant.

Choosing recognition in a moment of discouragement

Have you ever found yourself working towards something, maybe you’d like to “simply” wake up on time and not rush out the door? And then you do it once, but in that first moment of accomplishment, you quickly dismiss it by thinking, “Well, yeah, but it was only once.”

We have become so used to dismissing the small steps because we are so focused on the destination. But doesn’t the journey feel harder and require more effort?

It’s easy to dismiss these small moments and think of what we haven’t accomplished when in reality, taking steps to accomplish the end goal deserve our awareness, recognition, and validation. Even if the reward is an internal, “Good job!” We have to consider that when we are trying to accomplish something, it requires us to believe that we are capable. Even if we just have an ounce of this belief.

When we dismiss ourselves, we create an unstable foundation in which we feel less capable, supported and motivated. As a result, we may find ourselves feeling more judgmental and critical of ourselves.

What if, instead of hyper-focusing on the end goal or only noticing the failed attempts, we recognize the small efforts? This may feel uncomfortable, and for some, even complacent. However, my ask is for you to build a foundation of self-confidence in which you believe you are capable. By actively shifting our awareness and recognizing the moments of effort, awareness, discomfort and change, we now become an active participant in creating a stronger foundational belief in ourselves and therefore building inner resiliency.

Why this works

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve “failed” or I’ve accomplished a task only to think I could have done better. I mostly can’t tell you because I’ve lost count. What I can tell you is that I’ve learned something new about myself and the experience each time. Even if the lesson was hard.

In shifting your mindset, you may notice that accomplishing the big goal is not the “end goal.” Having tried something that required effort, change, and discomfort is the goal. Noticing the small successes may help you increase your window of tolerance by creating new neuropathways that promote flexibility and resiliency and strengthen inner emotional safety. This allows us to step out of rigidity and into flexibility and fluidity.

Increasing your own inner emotional safety allows you to attempt new things even if they feel daunting or intimidating. Sure, there may be moments in which the attempts fail; however, if your foundation is strong, these moments may offer the opportunity to problem solve and try again.

Takeaway

Next time you find yourself engaging in a task or trying something new, remind yourself to pause and recognize the steps that you have already taken. Recognize the effort, time, and emotional energy you have spent, and be flexible with yourself. Even if it is with an intentional moment of internal quiet and a soft, “You did it.”